Offensive Prayer

So it has been about two years since I have posted anything in this blog and to be honest, I kind of forgot that I still had it. Is that a bad thing? Haha! I read my last post and I am amazed how time has flown and how God changed me a lot since then. I have definitely come a long way in my walk with the Lord, so instead of updating my life on this blog, I want to share different things the Lord is teaching me. When people first meet me, they know me as quiet. People who know me well, know that's a lie and that I actually have a lot to say. May you see some of my "talking" side here as I contemplate the ways God is growing me. So I recently returned from a two-week mission trip to El Salvador and Honduras and it was (to say the very least) a stretching trip! I went before in December of 2014 and I thought this trip was going to be, more or less, the same kind of trip this summer. But God, as always, proved me wrong. One of the big things the Lord taught me this last trip is the power of and need for prayer. Not just protective prayers (the "God please protect us" kind of prayers) alone, but most importantly offense-type prayers for God to open doors for ministering the Gospel! In Central America, there is so much gang activity and because God's people are praying for open doors, gang members are hearing the Gospel and some are even getting saved! I have never thought of prayer as a way to open doors for the Gospel. If God is opening major doors for the Gospel to go forth in some very dark places of the world, can He not also do that locally? And the big question is: Have I been praying heavily for God to open those doors here? I haven't until now. And guess what? He is answering! I really shouldn't be surprised, but honestly I am and that's because I hadn't regularly been doing this. It is incredible the ministry opportunities God is putting before me and He is equipping me to bring His truth to others! If you're a believer, I highly encourage you to root yourself in regular prayer for people's salvation and for God to open many doors for you to speak the Gospel to people. God actually answers those prayers because they are according to His will. I think of James 5:16 where it says, "The effective prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much." If God's people pray and seek Him, He will answer so that His glory is made known. This is just one of the things the Lord really taught me and it is definitely putting my life in a whole new perspective and direction. "Pray without ceasing" 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Full Circle

I am amazed that it has been 9 months since my last blog post! I'm not amazed because it's been that long, but because I thought it has been much longer than that! Either way, I'm still here and God continues to work in my life, even if it's in very mysterious and confusing ways. To be honest, I haven't read any of my recent posts (I don't like reading what I wrote, haha!), so I am not quite sure what I even updated. But anyway, here goes the recent stuff. Regarding school, I completed my Certificate in Biblical Studies at Trinity and transferred my credits over to Northwestern Theological Seminary, where I am now pursuing my Bachelor of Theology in Biblical Studies (an online, four-year degree in addition to my General Associates). I am not sure what I want to even do with the degree, but my main purpose is to have at least my Bachelor's degree (and why not have Biblical education in the process?). Regarding ministry, I have been praying to God about what He wants me to do and where He wants me to go. It's been tough since my life seems to have hit a standstill (part-time job, school, and church involvement) with little direction of where to go next. But amazingly, God has opened the door for me to lead and teach the youth group with a friend of mine, Erin, at my church on Wednesday nights! It's quite funny how God can bring certain things full circle after some number of years have passed. If you've read any of my previous posts, you would know that a few years back I wanted to go into full-time youth ministry, but then I backed out of my B.A. in Youth Ministry program because I felt it wasn't for me (looking back now, I see I had unrealistic expectations and was immature). Now, three years later, here I am teaching and connecting with youth on a weekly basis and it has been a wonderful blessing! Ministry hasn't been anything I thought it would be (again, unrealistic expectations), but it has so far been a great joy to me and I thank God that I get to be used my Him to bring His Word to youth! I still don't know what God is doing yet, but I do see things beginning to unfold, one by one, moment by moment. He is so good and faithful! :)

The Right Foundation

   A new year is here, ever too quickly if you ask me! It's great, though, to start off fresh again and see what God has in store! As always, God is continuing to work in my life and He humbles me by His greatness each day. I finished my certificate in Biblical Studies and I am now taking a minimum of one year off of school. During this time, I plan on just stepping back and growing in the Lord. I desire for my prayer life to expand, Bible-reading to get deeper, and meditation and memorization to get deeper. I want to have an eternal perspective every day and I want to rid myself of worldly entertainment, values, and thought processes. I'm making God the foundation in my life and then building on top of that.

   Also during this time, I want to pray to God for His guidance and leading as I follow Him in His plan for me. Regarding education and academics, I'm not certain where to go with that. I don't want to waste time, efforts, and money on school without a vision. I want to be in full-time ministry, I just don't know where. It's frustrating to know, but not know at the same time. Oswald Chambers talks about working for the Lord and what that should look like. He says it's not about working for God as it is being loyal to Him and allowing  Him to work through you. That perspective really opened my eyes about ministry. So right now, I'm not trying to find ways to work for Him, but instead growing in my walk with Him and letting Him work through me. Let me just say, He has opened opportunities to minister to people (saved and unsaved) because of this. It helps me to greatly rely on His strength and provision instead of my own.

   I get tired of wanting and desiring to be dedicated in my walk with the Lord without actually doing anything about it. I want my faith to really change my life and my actions. I and others have seen this happen recently, so I desire to pursue that and keep it up, still growing in and relying on the Lord Himself. The moment I take my walk into my own hands (power and strength) is to abandon my total dependence on God.

   Right now I'm memorizing Psalm 63:1-8. I'm memorizing and meditating on a verse a day and then putting them together as a whole. I'm making this passage my prayer and cry to God every morning. After all, He should and must be everything to believers! As for me, I'm making Him my everything!


"O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:1-8

Refinement

   The past 4 months have been a learning experience for me. If I could sum up everything I've been going through in one word, it would be "refinement". That is exactly what God is doing in me right now.

   In times of difficulty, you really do learn a lot about yourself that you didn't know. Sometimes, God will even reveal something that is in your heart that you didn't know existed. For me, He revealed a sense of pride and self-centeredness that has been brewing in my heart for quite some time and it is only natural that I initially didn't see it because pride does a very good job of concealing itself. I confess that I have been dealing with this prideful, self-centered, and self-glorifying attitude in my heart, trying to snag a little glory for myself without really seeing it. But I am eternally thankful and grateful for God's grace upon me and that He is dealing with it, even if the refining fire wasn't/isn't pleasant.

   I am now turning from this sin and focusing on the one Who really deserves all the glory! God is changing me and I offer myself to Him in order to experience this change. Total surrender isn't easy nor did I expect it to be so, but it is oh so worth it in the end! I hope everyone has a wonderfully blessed day today!

Life Continues

Hey all! It sure has been awhile since my last update! I just like keeping you on your toes, that's all ;)

But seriously, all jokes aside, things are going quite well for me. Just been trying to stay in the Word and in constant prayer! The Lord is good through the bad and the good. He has a strange way of doing things in opposition to my plans, which always turns out better than my plans anyway! Reminds me of Isaiah 55:8, 9.

Lately I have been learning about God making me strong through weakness. Not the easiest lesson, I will admit, but I think it will be a life-changing one nonetheless. My desire is to consistently grow in Him and His truth. I know that all sounded kind of vague, but details aren't needed at the current moment. All you need to know is that God is changing me and helping me to grow in ways that I never thought possible!

Many of you may know that I'm a reader and I like to read lots of theology books, whether they are commentaries on books of the Bible or books about Christian growth, like Francis Chan, John Piper, etc. As I have been growing in the Lord and getting to know Him better as well as learning about Him, I have had a desire to write my own book. Actually I have been in the planning stages of a book since 2009, but only recently have I expanded on it and actually started writing it. I would love to at least complete it. Maybe later on I'll send it in for publishing or something. We'll see where God goes with this!

School is still chugging along ever so slowly, but progress is being made. In fact, after I'm done with this post, I plan on working on my paper. After this paper is complete and submitted, I only have two exams and a workbook to complete and then I'll be done! It won't be for a while, but still!

I still continue to pray for guidance from God about where He plans to lead me. Fortunately He gives us people in our lives to counsel us, and in my case it's my dad. We talked about where I see myself going in life, especially ministry, (and most importantly, where God sees me going) and my dad has been very helpful in this process! I want my life to count for Jesus, the Kingdom of God, and the Gospel! After this certificate in Biblical Studies is completed, I need to decide where to go next and I need the guidance of God as much as I can get! Praise Him that He knows what He is doing even when it doesn't make sense to me! To God be the glory!

I Could Not Think of an Appropriate Title for This Post, So This will Suffice

    I am truly amazed right now that we're halfway through 2012. It just seems to get busier for me as the months roll by. I guess that's okay though because I wouldn't want to be bored the entire time. Work, school, and friends keep me on my toes. The rain we've been having for the past few days has been relaxing, but its been pulling me away from schoolwork because it gets me thinking and praying and then nothing productive gets done (and I'm not saying prayer isn't productive, but you know what I mean). Even still, I trudge along and do the best I can with the time I'm given.

    Something has been really getting to me lately. It absolutely annoys and bothers me when Christians follow in the footsteps of the world, whether it's thinking like the world, speaking like the world, or engaging in the sinful activities of the world. They will use profanity, watch the raunchiest movies, tell the most perverted jokes, drink excessively, and even engage in premarital foreplay and/or sex. I have even seen my fair share of Christians get into dating relationships with non-Christians (which 2 Corinthians 6:14 clearly speaks against) and watched their lives slowly go downhill from there. And to think, all the while, these Christians go to church, never read any of the Bible on their own, and believe they are all right with God. In fact, they hate it when another believer confronts them about their sinful living, thinking the believer is judgmental or "too conservative". Does this kind of living fall in line with Scripture? Absolutely not. And it seems like fewer and fewer believers are doing anything about it, in other words, approaching the "Christian" individuals in question about their lifestyles. Something is clearly wrong and it needs to be put right. It is only by basing our beliefs on the source of truth (the Bible) that we can see with clarity what God intends for us. If we're not rooted in the Word, we will be uprooted and planted elsewhere.


    On the flipside of the sobering paragraph above, I have an opportunity to possibly go to Haiti for a week sometime in October or November. I would love to be a part of what God is doing in that region, especially in sharing the Gospel with the people there. Be praying for me as I prepare myself mentally and spiritually for this trip. God is good, all the time!