The past 4 months have been a learning experience for me. If I could sum up everything I've been going through in one word, it would be "refinement". That is exactly what God is doing in me right now.
In times of difficulty, you really do learn a lot about yourself that you didn't know. Sometimes, God will even reveal something that is in your heart that you didn't know existed. For me, He revealed a sense of pride and self-centeredness that has been brewing in my heart for quite some time and it is only natural that I initially didn't see it because pride does a very good job of concealing itself. I confess that I have been dealing with this prideful, self-centered, and self-glorifying attitude in my heart, trying to snag a little glory for myself without really seeing it. But I am eternally thankful and grateful for God's grace upon me and that He is dealing with it, even if the refining fire wasn't/isn't pleasant.
I am now turning from this sin and focusing on the one Who really deserves all the glory! God is changing me and I offer myself to Him in order to experience this change. Total surrender isn't easy nor did I expect it to be so, but it is oh so worth it in the end! I hope everyone has a wonderfully blessed day today!