February 25, 2011

Real and True Love

   The past few days have been quite amazing yet very stressful. I had lots of work to complete this week (with an unexpected extra assignment tacked on) and I finally finished it all! But that's not the only thing amazing that happened this week. God has been really working in me (I know that I must sound like a broken record by now, but it's true!) and I realized this week just how much of a change I went through and am still going through! Not only have I been getting ever so closer to my Savior and getting to know Him more and more intimately, but also all of the love He has shown me (and just the love He has for me in general) has been welling up in me for so long that now it is pouring out of me and onto other people! This is absolutely amazing and astounding to me!! I'll tell you what happened that made me realize this. Everyone has heard of the St. Pete officer that was killed (David Crawford, I believe) and how the suspect is only 16 years old! That's just crazy! What I used to feel when I heard about things like that was pure and high dislike (hate is a strong word) towards that person. But this time, I felt something different; something that isn't from me; something that I've been missing out on for so many years; something that only God could mold into me: love. Wow. Like, I have never felt pure love and compassion for someone that mercilessly killed a person! And here I am having really sincere compassion on a 16 year old kid that is now a murderer! I never experienced this before and now I am! Do you know what it is that helps me love someone like that? Jesus' love for me. As a human being, I realize that I am no better or more deserving than this kid. I realize that he and I are one in the same: sinners. And by realizing that love God has for me, I now love this kid, no matter what he did! It's amazing! I can't even begin to describe in words how this feels, but I wish everyone could and would experience it! And this love I have, I realize too, is not for just this one boy, but for everyone!! Especially teenagers!! This love for teenagers, the burden for the unsaved, and the desire for getting into ministry has made me see that God, I really believe, is changing me like crazy for youth ministry purposes! And my mind has changed too in the fact that I am ALWAYS thinking about Jesus, His love for me and all humanity, the lost and unsaved and reaching out to them, and the life to come! I now have a constant eternal mindset and perspective! I'm ready to give up anything and everything for Jesus and the work He has for me! And seriously, by definition, I'm obsessed with Jesus and living only for Him no matter what people think of me! :)

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