May 11, 2011

Looking Ahead, but Living Now

I haven't been getting the best amount of sleep lately, but hopefully that will change soon! Throughout the day I'm so tempted to have coffee, but I know that it definitely takes a toll on my sleep pattern later on and that's the last thing I need at the moment :P And it's not like I go to bed late and get up early. Usually I go to bed pretty early (around 10:30 to 11 p.m.), but it seems like my body already has a schedule of its own and it's not letting me in on it! I start beginning to feel sleepy around 2 a.m. and after walking up a few times during the night, I get up at 9:30 a.m. I know that's late for some of you, but that is pretty early for me, lol! I believe what keeps me up late at night is that the fact that I am always thinking. Thinking about where I am in my life. Thinking about where I am going in my life. Thinking about God's overall plan for my life. Thinking about things a little too early. But not only do I think at night, but I also pray a lot. I pray for guidance, wisdom, knowledge, and of course I pray for those whom I care about :) Maybe I need to cut back on praying, haha!

So this past Tuesday, I met with those two middle school boys again and this time it went much better! I put together a better lesson plan. But you know what? My youth pastor told me something that I sure won't forget. He said that it doesn't matter how much theology I discuss with them. What matters more is loving just like Jesus did and does. Wow! Seriously that really put my perspective back in place. And what's more? I got to talk with a friend of mine, Alex (the former youth pastor's son), while he's visiting for a few weeks and you know what he said in response to me telling him about the discipling I'm doing? "That's awesome man! The church really needs more people doing that! What's so great is that you just love the kids, just like Jesus, man! It's awesome!" He had such passion telling me this that it greatly inspired me! It really ignited the Holy Spirit in me again! I'm really bummed that I had never really talked to Alex as much until now. We have a lot in common regarding ministry and it's just incredible! Hopefully we'll get to talk more often, but it'll be a little tough considering that he now lives on Catalina Island off the coast of California! Seriously, being around Alex, you totally see Jesus living through him! It's crazy and awesome! I hope that one day people will hang around me and see Jesus living through me! That would be totally awesome!

My passion for youth ministry kinda felt like it was dwindling, but man, it's been reignited! Sometimes we just need a little boost when we don't feel too hot about ourselves. And a lot of times that passion we get reignited in us reignites someone else's passion as well! It's seems to be very contagious! :)
I'm still constantly praying for God's guidance to where I should go. It's tough to figure out on my own. One thing is for sure: I tend to look too far ahead into the future. Not worrying, but planning, or at least seeing where I'm headed. I take a lot the future aspects of my life seriously. All I wanna do is what's right and best for me according to God's Will. So far, He's coming through...

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