May 31, 2011

So Much on My Mind...

Have you ever noticed that sometimes God never makes sense? That seems to be the case for me recently. He sure knows how to keep me on the edge of my seat! At times it's kinda exciting and I can enjoy it, but other times it's annoying and I just want it to stop. When will the shifting sand ever settle? I have a feeling that it won't be super soon :P

So I had a pretty sweet Memorial Day. Spent it with family and ate to my heart's and stomach's content! And all the while I was thanking God for the freedom I have in this country and the freedom I have in Him! I can never fully comprehend that fact: God loving me to the point that He would not only die for me, but die a long and torturous death. Tough to swallow. And I'm not too sure if I could actually die a torturous death for somebody...I'm glad He did though :)

Today I met with only one of the middle schoolers, so it was cool to have the lesson and hang out one-on-one! I did the lesson on prayer and let me tell you, I never knew I could not only learn, but also be convicted by a lesson I put together! God really likes to speak in crazy ways if He wants to! I mean, today, I never thought too hard about prayer until I (ironically) prayed about it and read God's Word. It made me think about the simplicity yet the power prayer really has! And also, it made me think of where my heart and motives are when praying for something or someone. Convicting stuff, but also so amazing!

A lot has been on my mind recently and I honestly don't know what to do with the thoughts! I do cast them at God's feet on a daily basis, but there are just some things that can't leave my mind because I know it is my duty to deal with them one-on-one. I'm not thrilled about it, but at the same time I know it needs to be done.

Strangely, one of the biggest lessons I'm learning right now is love. I'm not talking about "baby" this and  "baby" that; chocolates, roses, fancy dinners; love letters, hand-holding, kissing. I am talking about "Love". Agape. Sacrificial, true love. The love that Christ showed us. The love that holds all real relationships together. The love that says "I care about you from the deepest part of my being and I would die for you if that's what it takes". Love that has nothing to do with you, but the other person entirely. Love that desires to see a person through the toughest of times. Love that is always by one's side even when the night is the blackest it has been. Love that looks beyond all feelings and that comes straight from God. Sadly, it is rare and this world makes true love harder and harder to find. It confuses the youngest and oldest of souls alike. It can push two people apart when true love actually glues them together. This world doesn't make anything easier. It's a broken world. What does one expect? I'm convinced that the only way we can experience true love in its absolute, genuine form is through Jesus' love. It's an example that is tough to follow at times, but it's the reason we are alive and the reason we are to live. The lesson of love is one that will take a lifetime to learn, but I am determined to understand and live it to the best of my ability and God's overall strength.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"When will Fear and Darkness flee
When will we begin to see
That there is Something great out there
A Love that goes where no one dares?"-Unknown

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